Watched Dan In Real Life last night with my lil sis. One of the lines in the movie really hit me square in the forehead and made me ponder...

"Do you know why we have lighthouses?
We have them because they help when it's dark,
It keeps boats safe,
Keep us from crashing into rocks,
Because when you're out there being tossed back and forth by those big dark waves,
And you think that you'll never feel land again,
And that you could just split into a million pieces,
And sink down,
All the way down deep,
It's the light that keeps us on course."

I think in general, my personal life kind of lacks that light. I often find myself reaching out with my arms stretched trying to grab hold of something in the dark. And the problem is, as soon as I bump into something that I can grab hold of, I rarely let it go. That intensity of "clinging on for dear life" may sometimes scare people away tho. (Personally, I don't see it as an attractive quality).

So what ever happened to the lighthouse that was suppose to exist in my life? I've seen glimpse of flashes, but they never last. (And to tell the truth, I think when the flashes go off, I often see things littering around my surroundings and it is not pretty. So THOSE are the things I'm trying to grab hold of? It's really quite depressing.) But may be this is a goal I need to reach for. To build my own lighthouse to find clarity so that I'd stop sinking, stop reaching, and stop breaking into a million pieces whenever I lose sight of that light again. Something to work on... and definitely not easy, but I think I've got an idea.